I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
