The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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