Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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