: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just cropdusted the office
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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