Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
