Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
