she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
