Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im holly from the hills drunk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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