it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
