I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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