Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
