even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
