Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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