i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
