Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize