just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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