I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
