So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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