id be glad to
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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