Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
