whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
