Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
