our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You pole danced in your parka.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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