My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
