I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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