I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
