I cockslap morals
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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