remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
