Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
