I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize