you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
as a side note pls kill me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
