Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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