this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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