remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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