white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
