awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
