Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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