Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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