i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
