Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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