My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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