glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
