ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
