Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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