The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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