Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
