David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
