I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
