Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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