she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I deserve this hangover.
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