how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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