can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize