Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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