Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
