Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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