He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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