piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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