And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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