I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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