Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
