Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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